"Who"

Punk'n Head or Sweet Patootee Pie

I am a Sweet Patootee Pie guy. That's just me. Some people like Punk'n Head Pie.

Around Thanksgiving time? that is the season for both pies however the season lasts only weeks. Then the Punk'n Head and Sweet Patootee Pie season will be over until next year. Nobody will want to eat any more.

I was sitting in the parking lot puffing on my second hand smoke cancer stick when all of a sudden "Who" showed up. She went inside. When I finished I went inside also, and "Who" was there! I walked up to her and said, "Punk'n !" I told "Who" I what I meant to call her was Sweet Potato.

Earlier in the day, while eating a slice of store bought Sweet Potato Pie, "Who" described how she just made a Sweet Potato Pie from scratch. "Who" tried to explain to me how she made it. But she can't even give instructions on where to catch the bus right outside the door.

None-the-less I got the picture anyway. After all she was describing cooking. Cooking is a language a man can understand because he listens with not his ears but a man listens with his stomach. And the key to a man’s heart "is" his stomach after all.

I told “Who” if  was my friend she would have called me and have given me a slice of her Sweet Potato Pie! "Who" said she is my friend and she almost ate the whole pie herself in one sitting!

Then "Who" described how she made the Sweet Potato pie with language only my stomach could understand. She speaks with gestures, emotions, and her face that cannot be translated into any known language.

But suddenly, I had to get away from her so I headed for a chair to sit down on. Then she started to talk to two other women who were seated near her. I walked, having to pass her on my way back outside, and I said to her, "I can't stand it anymore. I don't even want to hear you!"

I don't know, maybe I was having a bad hair day.

Okay, now it's time to take it to Church using the word of our sponsor, God:

Some believe you have not been preached to unless they talk about you. Some people only like how their Pastors or denominations talk about them. If another Pastor talks from another denomination talks about them they get very upset. Pastors need Church too but they do not like anyone to talk about them period especially in their own Church. If you do take Pastors to Church you have to leave their Church, and they might have the Deacons escort you out. On one occasion a Deacon peeked out the door and said they will be praying for me.

I have since learned to leave and not return after I preached to a Pastor during service. I can see the disdain in their eyes. Like they were asking, “Who do I think I am? Sometimes I feel like Jesus. The religious leaders always asked Jesus, “Who do you think you are!” When Jesus told them they picked up stones to kill Jesus but it was not His time to die yet. So He just passed through them, ignoring them, and went on His way.

They are above being talked about and think what they say and do is perfect and right. Well there is Church politics also. My buddy in Bible College who Pastors his own Church after he graduated told me, “No Poly No Ticky. “ I understand politics but I never play politics not in Church, not even on the job. I leave politics to the professionals. 

Donald who is running for President never even held a political office. He is not a politician. Politicians are going to eat him for lunch. He takes pride in his hair but it is starting to look tacky. Even his Barber won’t be able to save his hair.

A lot of Pastors ask God for money, but they know God does not have any money, so they expect anybody and everybody to give them some money.  And a lot of people give them a lot of money which they squander away. Hopefully they won’t end up eating pig slop.

This guy had to pay taxes. Jesus did have any money but told him to go fishing and he caught a fish that swallowed one of Caesars coins. Jesus said now, give Caesar his own coin. After all it was Caesars coin to begin with and he wants it back!  There is something about fishing and fish. He told Peter to fish on the other side of his boat and Peter caught a lot of fish. Jesus did not give either of them money and neither did anyone else. Instead, Jesus made a way to get some from their own efforts.

I was shocked and stunned to learn from the Bible College I graduated from that I have a public ministry like Jesus Christ.  That explains why people treat me the way they do. And many want a hand out but don’t want to give me anything in return. They may offer me lip service and say that they want to but it is not all bad. Sometimes I feel like Jesus because some ask me for something like I have too. I’m really trying not to because I am not really Jesus.

Rosy Greer, an ex-football player from the LA Rams, sang this song , “You are probably the only Jesus some will ever see.” Selah

Sometimes people ask me sarcastically, “Do I have my own Church? I say to them, "I don’t want to take your money to build me a Church that I will own lock stock and barrel! “And they walk away with their heads bowed.

Never mind that I am a Bible College graduate, a C.P.E. certified Chaplain/Pastor with a license from the State of California, and a Biblical author of 14 free books, I have an audience over 70,000 around the world. I minister also from the privacy of my own home. I have been in Public Ministry in many states and the Bahamas. I enjoy and I’m not afraid to use public transportation. People don’t have to make an appointment to talk to me. We just talk! I am very knowledgeable and I can be very entertaining. I can be a talking Charlie Chaplin.

I have not cut my hair in over a month. My beard is long as it is the only place it will grow with substance. I bought some clippers to do my own hair because I’m "Barber Phobic." My neighbor looked at me through his Barber eyes and asked me if I wanted a haircut. I tried to hide my fear but I was not successful in hiding my fear because I felt my eyes get big.

The reason I fear Barber's is because they look at my hair and beard and see what they want to do it. A Barber does not want to cut my hair the way I want my hair to be cut. Now that's Church.

It does not matter what I say they are going to almost cut my hair all off and trim my beard a certain way. I call this the Church look.

Barbers hold a certain position in the Church like gangs. Gangs are have methods of identifying each other like Church member and a Barbers inforce the Church look.

A man can't attend Church services without a Church haircut, eventually. Some Church building Pastors invite people to come as they are. But the enforcers in the Church will look at men with disdain or with disapproval if they don't retain or adopt the Church look.

I have personally witnessed stares and pointy fingers at me, because my hair grew longer, and I did not fit the Church norm anymore.

I have seen men in Church growing their hair and beard longer only to have to cut it off. I have seen Church guys who have a recent hair cut look at me as if I had a contagious disease or embarrassed because they had to.

They look so sad. Perhaps I'm a bad influence or they think I am a "Rebel without a Cause.” Steve McQueen stared in this movie. He was an American idol at the time). However I do have a cause, “Because I want to!” The 70’s was the long hair revolution. We had products for the first time so even Black people could grow their hair long. We had Afro’s. The feeling is worse for a homeless guy trying to attend a Church service.

Every man in now Church has to have one or the other three haircuts. a) A man has to have short hair and be clean shaven, b) A man has to have a bald head with a finely trimmed beard or clean shaven, or c) A man can have hair but not too long with a finely trimmed beard or clean shaven. 

Boy, now that I have let my hair go I get some stares from Church people sometimes. Did Pastors preach against long hair?

Still, some approve of my disguised look. But I have always been a non-conformist, way out of the box, and my mother said I was eccentric. I always thought that was a good thing. Some people think it is not. They are followers and in the box. No I am not rich but many people think I am, I am just an artist. Make no mistake about it. Besides, do followers consider me not part of the Church because of the way I look, think, talk and dress? Maybe I should where a robe and grow hair long like some pictures of Jesus. Naw. I really would not fit in. Well, they like White guys with the Jesus hair cut in the pictures. I think yipe myself when I see one walking down the street smiling! 

Anyways, and now the exciting conclusion of  “Punk'n Head or Sweet Patootee Pie!”

She asked me if I can cook but she described baking an apple pie with gestures also. "Who" said take some apples and add this and add that and a crust and there you have it. And she seriously thought I now can bake an apple pie. "Who” is so special.

I told her that my sisters did not understand what my Dad said. They called it “Dad Speak.” Even his brother my namesake, Winston from Arkansas, did not understand what my Dad said. But I understood him perfectly. Now at 62 years old you can say I have developed my own “Dad Speak.” Well, “Who” has “Her Own Speak” which I can understand some of.  

She talked about the first man and what men can do, even the first woman in brief.

In summary I said, God took some things out of the first man and put them into a woman so men would love women. And a man does not want to do those things. When a woman cooks for a man she puts love into it which a man cannot do.